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Become A Calm Mama

Become A Calm Mama

Darlynn Childress
Date de sortie : 2025-02-06
© Copyright 2025 Darlynn Childress
Become A Calm Mama - QR Code
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163 épisodes
Audio
Écouter sur Apple Podcasts
LibreNew
163 épisodes
Audio
Écouter sur Apple Podcasts
Date de sortie : 2025-02-06
© Copyright 2025 Darlynn Childress
L’épisode le plus récent
Saying "I'm Sorry" (Repair pt. 2)

Saying "I'm Sorry" (Repair pt. 2)

Durée : 27:30
Lecture
In last week’s episode, I talked about how to forgive yourself when you yell, shame, hurt, or otherwise show up in a way you don’t love as a parent. Today, we’re talking about what comes next - saying “I’m sorry” and having a repair conversation with your child. 
You’ll Learn:
Why saying “I’m sorry” is so important (and why it’s only one piece of repair)4-step formula for a repair conversation (with examples)What you need to do before you have this conversation with your kidHow to repair after a longer period of time when you weren’t showing up as the parent you want to be
It’s normal to lose it with your kid. What’s important is how you choose to handle it afterward. 
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You know what this looks like…
Your kid keeps complaining about what you’re serving for dinner. 
Or they keep asking for something over and over, even though you already said no. 
Or they start hitting their sibling while you’re trying to make an appointment on your phone. 
You lose your compassion and patience and get angry, overwhelmed, irritated, or frustrated. You get dysregulated, short-tempered, and disrespectful toward your child. 
What It Feels Like For Your KidChildren are very self centered. That's their natural way of viewing the world. They're pretty sure the world revolves around them. 
So when they notice that you’re mad, they will automatically think that they are the reason. And further, they’ll think that something is wrong with who they are. They don’t know how to separate their core self from their behavior yet. They internalize our anger, and it's very easy for them to go into shame. 
This means that when you yell or get upset, you have to go back and give your child some understanding of why you behaved the way you did. We call this repair. 
You explain to them that you were in a big feeling cycle, and you didn’t use your tools of taking a pause or deep breathing or moving your body or whatever you typically use to calm yourself. 
The conversation is about repairing your relationship with your child, as well as their self-esteem and internal self-talk (basically your kid’s relationship with themself). 
 
When To RepairHere are some signs that your child might need a repair conversation with you. You might notice that they:
Seem deflatedWithdraw from youLook confused by your face or your behaviorCryRun awayGet more aggressive
When you act out your big feelings on your kid, it activates their stress response. They go into fight, flight, freeze, faint, or fawn. 
Anytime you notice that you’ve created a rupture, go make a repair. 
If you’re at the beginning of your Calm Mama journey, you’ll probably have to do this a lot. You haven’t developed the skills yet, and that’s okay. You are still learning. 
Another thing to note is that the repair conversation should happen separately from parenting, limit setting, or correction. You might feel tempted to say something to your kid like, “I’m sorry I yelled, but I wouldn’t yell at you if you would just put your pajamas on.” Discussion about your child’s behavior is a whole different conversation. 
You are responsible for how you respond to misbehavior. Repair is the time for you to fix your mistake and reconnect.
 
How To Have a Repair Conversation: Saying “I’m Sorry”Repair is the act of returning to a moment of disconnection, taking responsibility for your behavior, and acknowledging its impact on your child. You caused a problem with your...
Id. d’épisode : 1000689565153
GUID : e5d84b86-78b8-4aa4-8cd8-c680d8d97424
Date de publication : 6/2/2025 à 08:30:00

Description

Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be.
Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what it’s really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century.
Over the past 15 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called “The Calm Mama Process” that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment that’s been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that don’t want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, she’s seen it all.
Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!).
Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, The Emotionally Healthy Kids course, where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home.

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